wagwaan?

What I've been up to

I wish I had something witty to say, I really do. But I don't so you'll have to make do with a post about what I did at the weekend. A bit like those old school essays "What I Did On My Holidays" if you like.... So, you know how it is: you never get any invitations and then three come along at once? Well that was us this weekend. All the invites were for Sunday. I had one to a colleague's BBQ and another to the new neighbours' housewarming, and the boyf had his dad's birthday to fit in there too.

I had it all worked out: I could attend the BBQ early, and go to the housewarming later with my man, when he got back from his dad's birthday celebrations. One of my colleagues dropped by to pick me up and we went early to the BBQ because her husband was in charge of the grilling. It was a blustery day, but we had high hopes for the weather because it was supposed to be quite sunny. We were just helping to put the gazebo up when we felt raindrops. We got it up and went indoors and then all hell broke loose: the wind picked up and the rain absolutely pelted down. It was nearly horizontal there was so much wind, and the gazebo was threatening to take off. We stood in the kitchen looking glumly at the garden, and the tablecloths that were getting a good soaking.... but the chef was standing at the grill, sheltered by the end of the garage and a huge parasol, and he grinned and waved at us. He's a good sport.

Luckily, the wind blew the rainclouds away and by the time the guests started arriving the sun was out. The food was delicious and I had a "Pimm's No. 1 cup" for the first time in years. Later, my friend drove me home and I had a little rest before part deux of the day. At around 6pm I made my way three doors down and joined the throng at no. 48. The place was packed, and there was a really nice bunch of people there, including some other neighbours. We decided at the end of the evening that it would be a good idea to have more get-togethers as we all get on and it's nice to have that community feel, isn't it?

Yesterday was Bank Holiday Monday and it was a lie-about-at-home kind of day, although I did do some tidying up and a load of laundry or two. The weather was not good and I was seriously thinking about putting the heating on, although today of course has dawned bright and sunny (typical!). In the afternoon I did a weight-loss video diary for my new Youtube channel that Claire set up for me. She has been subscribed for a while to other channels in the weight-loss community, and the other day, via Facebook, I found a channel from an American lady who is doing Slimming World over in Texas, where they have just started out. On chatting about it, Claire talked me into doing one of my own (she MADE me do it, honest!) and although I hate seeing myself on film I thought it would motivate me if I could see myself getting fitter, slimmer, healthier... Claire also said that other people are very supportive and that would motivate me too although I don't have a thick skin and will be hurt if I get any nasties!

Oh look what arrived today:

I've been looking through it and it's making me feel rather dissatisfied with our place! Not that having material possessions has ever been a huge thing for me, but I would definitely like the place to be brightened up a bit. A nice fresh coat of paint would be lovely. Hmm, wonder if I can persuade the others to help? And if any of you out there are a dab hand with a paint brush, well you know where to find me!

Keep smiling :D

Disconnected

Hmm feeling rather disconnected as the internet is playing up, both on the PC and the iPhone. I suppose I'll just have to stick to good old fashioned reading to keep myself busy!

In the meantime, I hope you are all making the most of the last of the summer - well, if you are in England it certainly seems like we're winding down towards autumn now. Not that I'm complaining as it's one of my favourite seasons and I am looking forward to snuggling up in warm jumpers and thick socks lol.

This week has been a bit slow, apart from rehab, doctor and dentist appointments. I did get out for a walk most days, partly because I was keeping an eye on a friend's house, taking in the post, watering her tomatoes etc. I made stewed apples a couple of times out of windfalls from her apple tree; it's perfect comfort food on a cold day, dontcha think? Eaten still slightly warm with a dab of low fat crème fraiche or plain yoghurt. Yum!

Well that is all from me today. I'm taking it easy while the boyf and Claire are out. Peace and quiet with a cup of tea. Mmmmm.

The morning after the night before

Right, I'm just popping in to post the pictures from yesterday, because I know you are all dying to see what the cake looked like, right? Well it actually looked amazing, although I say so myself.  So here goes:

 

 

OOh, does it not look delumptious??   

And here is what the boyf got her as a surprise:

 

(The angle makes the glass look wonky doesn't it?) 

Nearly all gone:

 

 Mmmmm!

Just be warned - if you make this wonderful recipe, I think it only needs half the amount of cream for that topping. And maybe twice the amount of cheesecake!   It would definitely be ok to leave out the cream altogether, and maybe just put plain raspberries on top, to make it less rich. But overall, it gets a thumbs up.

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend. 

 
 
 
 

Birthdaaaaay!

Wow, I'm definitely OLD now.  Well, if you take any notice of numbers I am:  Claire turns 20 today!  This is her 20 years ago exactly, in the Clinique St Joseph. We had no idea it was then the 50th anniversary of one of Winston Churchill's most famous speeches, but that might be because she was born in France and I only had French TV in my room...

 

 And oh my, how she's changed! Here she is today:

And to think I was worried her eyes were too small (the things a first-time mother worries about!).  I didn't think she'd actually wear the huge, cheesy badge, but she has. Well, indoors she has anyway!

Her cake is chilling in the fridge before the final step. You can see a picture of it here, together with the recipe.  So far,  it's gone like this:

 Mix butter, icing sugar. eggs and flour. Taste frequently to make sure the mix is right.

 Pour in the melted dark choc, drizzling to make pretty patterns as you go. Taste frequently, and when you are happy with the mix, lick your fingers and all spoons and/or beaters. Do not skip this step, it is very important.  When it's nice and mixed up and brown and yummy, pour it into a baking tin lined with greaseproof paper (oops forgot the picture).  Due to lack of space in tiny Victorian kitchen, and lack of baking paraphernalia, wash everything up and start all over again with step 2:

 Make the cheesecake layer, mixing cream cheese with icing sugar and vanilla extract. Continue testing at regular intervals. Again, very important! To make this dessert entirely healthy, use "light" cheese. It will make you feel virtuous and mean you can eat without feeling guilty, especially as everyone knows that 70% cocoa dark chocolate is full of antioxidants, so the brownie layer is healthy too.  

Pour the cheesecake mix on top of the brownie mix and put in at gas mark 3 for 30 to 40 mins. As you don't have markings on your cooker knobs, select a point where you think "3" might be.  Forget what time you put it in. Jump up in a panic after only 15 minutes, convinced it's been 30.  Check cake. It won't be done yet.  Put it back in and check in another 15. It still won't be done, so you'll have to leave it another 15 until you realise it must have been an hour and must SURELY be ready now. Test with skewer. It will come out clean and the top of the cheesecake will be set and lightly brown round the edges, just like the recipe tells you.  Remind yourself at this point to go and buy an oven thermometer....   When it's cooled enough, put it in the fridge to chill. 

Now all I have to do is whip up the cream, icing sugar and raspberries, whack some candles on it and have it for tea.

Claire's BFF (=best friend forever) is over and they are having a girly day of it, which is lovely because BFF is at Uni at the moment so they don't see much of each other.  I will post again when we have had the cake and candles, ok?

Baking delights

Claire and I are delighted that the Beeb have a new programme called "The Great British Bake Off", the first episode of which we watched last night.  I apologise to any overseas readers that they won't be able to watch it by clicking on that link because I understand the BBC iPlayer is only available in UK.

Sue Perkins testing the delights of The Great British Bake Off

Anyway, as you can imagine, it's a programme all about baking, and unlike Masterchef which leaves me cold, watching the efforts of these aspiring bakers was great fun. I really felt for the contestants whose cakes collapsed, were overcooked, undercooked, too dense, etc....  I certainly wouldn't put myself through the mill like that! We're really looking forward to the next episode, and in the meantime Claire reminded me that it's her birthday on Friday and that, what a thought, I Could Bake Her A Birthday Cake!  I must admit I used to make her birthday cakes when she was little, but then when we moved to the UK and found such an array of brilliant birthday cakes on sale in the supermarkets, there seemed little point.  I haven't yet tried any of the Hummingbird Bakery recipes despite owning the book, and I have one in mind. Watch this space :) 

In other news, the neuro psychologist is continuing with her assessment of the effects of my brain haemorrhage. Yesterday she really seemed to up the ante, and I had to copy a (very complicated) picture, remember words that had been read out to me, match photographs of faces, do some maze puzzles and, at the end, draw the aforementioned picture right at the end of the session to see how much I remembered of it.  A rather bizarre thing happens when I concentrate like that: I get intense pain at the site of my surgery. I mean, every second of our lives we are using our brain without even realising it, and we don't experience pain when the neurons are transmitting their millions of signals; but it would appear that, as my brain is still in the process of healing, I can actually FEEL it working!  I don't know about you, but that blows my mind (literally lol)!  I think I have one more assessment session next week, and then a final recap session where I understand we will work on coping strategies.

Well, that's enough from me. The head is throbbing slightly right now as it happens. Not in a headache kind of way, but in a way that tells me I'm overdoing it right now.  That's my cue to switch off then.  Nite nite all!

A new week

Hello people!  I'm sorry if you turn up here each day and find the same old same old.... I've been a bit reluctant to turn the PC on and get sucked into the worldwide web. It's so easily done isn't it? However, that does mean I don't update as often as I could. It's too much like hard work doing it from the iPhone, just so you know.

Anyway, the biggest news of course is that Claire came home from her little jaunt to the SW of France, of which I'm hugely jealous. She stayed with my sister and her family and they have a pool so,  you know, it's rather better than sitting at home in Hertfordshire. I can't wait for it to be my turn. Even though I hate flying, I grit my teeth and think of the enjoyment of seeing my family and getting away from it all.  I don't think we'll manage it before the pool gets shut up for the winter, but hopefully in the spring?  Something to look forward to.

Today I got an exciting parcel: I've started doing Avon in order to satisfy my urge to shop without a hefty bill. It's pretty much free to become a "ding dong lady" and if I get enough orders, then I get a commission that should cover my own purchases. There was a lady I bought from locally, but she stopped doing our area because she moved away. Anyway, today I got my first order, including some samples of perfumes, lipsticks and foundations which I ordered so that I could test them out myself. It's much cheaper than buying a whole lipstick and then not liking the colour. You'll not recognise me - I'm going to be such a girl!!   

The product I've really missed is the Skin So Soft dry oil spray. I love the smell, which really reminds me of summer for some reason (it's the blue one below):

 

Talking of parcels in the post, do you remember I recently won a gift voucher from Amazon? Well I ordered Season 7 of the Gilmore Girls (which is the last one ever and I'm going to cry when it ends), and a book called "Integrity is Everything" by John Lavenia. It's another self-help book, because I sometimes need a kick up the backside. The bit in italics below resonated with me today. It's from a bit called "Be Do Have":

"To identify who we are being, our innermost beliefs about who we are and what we're capable of and what we're expecting in our lives, we can ask ourselves one question, and that is "How do I feel?". (...) The answer to that question will reveal who I am being very reliably. So if I'm happy and peaceful and confident and having fun, then that's who I'm being. I'm a person who is in that flow, and the currents of life (...) flow to me with no force. But if I'm stressed out, anxious, pissed-off, resentful - then that's who I'm being. I'm a person who's going against the flow. I'm a person who's cutting off the currents in my life, who's short-circuiting my own energy. (...) By being this person, all the hard work in the world isn't going to bring me satisfaction. All the trying (and I get that there are a lot of people that are trying really hard to be successful) will not bear fruit. You can't be successful until you become successful!"

It comes back to what my mum always told me. She knew intuitively that I was a worrier, and she taught me to "think positive!" and to smile. She is such a beautiful person and an inspiration to me, as I might have told you before. So anyway, I got my Gilmore Girls DVDs and the book recently, and it really made my day. Thank you Alison!!

The last bit of exciting news that I got today is that a group of volunteers from the TimeBank are coming to blitz my garden on 4th September. They are going to dig it all up and get rid of the weeds and cut the grass, and then I'll be able to start from scratch in the borders. Before we know it, it will be time to plant Spring bulbs, and I'm going to have to start reading up on what other plants might do well in there. I would love a proper cottage garden with hollyhocks, stocks, lupins, delphiniums, foxgloves, rambling roses, sweet peas etc etc. In my mind's eye it's a riot of colour and hardly an inch of bare earth. The reality might be somewhat different!  I'm hoping that with the hard work out of the way, I'll be able to cope with a bit of planting and some weeding with a long-handled hoe. I can dream, can't I?  

So there you have it. Lots of plans and stuff to do. Meanwhile, I'm going to go and have a little rest now. Hope you are all well and enjoying some sunny weather like we are. Cheers!

Oh look, I'm back!

I don't know how I ever worked full-time and commuted 3hrs a day!  The days just aren't long enough, but I suppose that's because it takes me three times as long to do the slightest thing...  I've not been turning the computer on so much because I've been taking it easy, and I've been having more headaches so I'm not too keen on sitting in front of a screen at the moment.

Anyway, what's been happening? Well, Claire went off to France on Sunday, to stay with my sis in the SW of France. I got up to see her off in a taxi at 5am. Needless to say, I went back to bed after. Oh and then my wonderful man cooked a full English breakfast and kept it warm until I got up.  He even laid the table specially and we had a very civilised start to the day. He's a keeper alright :) 

So, while my daughter is sunning herself by the pool and on the beach, I've been enjoying the silence. I'm not saying she's noisy or anything (!), I mean I've realised that I hardly ever listen to music or the radio at the moment. My brain is apparently telling me it doesn't need noise.  I'm reading, and resting after a busy week:

On Friday a lovely friend from my scrapbooking forum came up from her neck of the woods in far off South East London. We had a Starbucks together and did a little bit of window shopping, and she dropped me home again. On Saturday another friend picked me up to go to my ex-colleague's surprise 50th birthday party. I wasn't too affected by the noise, and I stayed about 3 hours, which was lovely.  

Unfortunately, my memory lapses are still there: I managed to leave some ink cartridges I'd bought in one car, and my jacket in another!!  I'll get them back soon :)

Right, you know how I feel about posts without pictures, and although Claire has taken all the cameras with her on holiday, I did snap this one the other day especially for my brother N who has a thing for winegums. Look! Dual flavoured ones! I shall have to grab some more and send you a care package.... 

They are pictured here on top of a magazine that I used to bring back from the UK when I was younger. I bought the Summer issue and have managed to do quite a few of the puzzles in it, which is very therapeutic.

Right, my headache is still bugging me, so I'm off to have a lie down. Hope you are all well where you are!

Busy bee

Just popping in quickly before bed...  Today I had another session at the rehab place where we are working on my assessment. The psychologist doesn't want to do it all in one go because it's very tiring. You wouldn't think doing puzzles would be so taxing, but it really is! I'm very competitive so I want to do well on each test, but I get no feedback at all most of the time, as she's going to put it all together and do a report at the end of it. I know I'm doing better than when I came out of hospital. My short-term memory is improving all the time, in the sense that I can usually recall what I've been doing recently, but the tests focus on specific areas and my brain seems to "shut down" after a while. 

For example, this morning I started off ok, but during an exercise where I had to say what link there was between two words I had to give up. I knew what the words meant, and I could see the link between them, but I was incapable after a while of giving that link a name. To show you what I mean, the test words were suit and coat. I wanted to say "things you put on"... the word was "clothes"!  Ok, I got the gist of it and they got progressively harder. When it came to fly (the insect) and tree, all I could think was "nature", then I came up with "living things".  After that, it becomes hazy and all I know is I couldn't think of a word to link two things together and I think we moved on to something else.  

Abstract ideas are very hard for me at the moment, which is what this exercise was targeting I suppose. It's the same when I have conversations at home: if they get a bit intense, I am left floundering. I know that I understand what is being said, but I can't verbalise what I want to say and I lose the thread. This is worse when I'm tired, which happens at some point every day, so it's rather frustrating. Quite apart from the extreme tiredness, being a PA or secretary involves a lot of planning and it's a big headache for me, which is why I know I just couldn't do that job right now. Will I ever be able to again? Who knows! 

This is by no means a complaint, I'm just trying to put down in writing how I'm feeling. I also know that the Brain and Spine Foundation have linked to my blog, so if what I'm going through can help a fellow SAH survivor, then that's an added bonus. 

Anyway, that's it, I'm ready to fall into bed. I must get my beauty sleep in as tomorrow is another busy day. Nite all :)

What an exciting life I lead!

I was getting a bit stir crazy today, so, after popping over to have lunch with a friend at the canteen (her treat), I had a little rest before going into town to make an appointment for an eye test. I would have phoned, only I couldn't remember which opticians it was where I'd seen a good deal.  I have duly booked a test for Thursday and I am going to be able to get some new glasses courtesy of the benefits system. I am SO grateful for a system that allows me to get my teeth and eyes seen to even though I'm not able to work at the moment. I know there is a lot of abuse, and I hope the current Government don't bow to the pressure of the media and stop benefits for those of us who've paid into the system for years but have fallen on hard times.  

After that, I thought I'd go and register with the Shopmobility scheme. This is a charity-run scheme where you can borrow a mobility scooter or wheelchair in order to be able to go round the shops in the High Street and the shopping centre.  I really wanted to register because there is no bus that goes as far as the Council offices and library at the top of the town and it's just too far for me to walk in my current state.  The lady who registered me asked if I wanted to go for a little run, so after showing me how to use it I was off!  At first I felt very self-conscious, but then I got to the shopping centre and I realised how liberating it was. I was able to pootle along, looking in the shop windows. It was nearly time for Claire to come home, so I popped in to her place of work to see her. She was with a customer when I arrived and I saw her face when she realised that was her old ma sitting on a scooter. Priceless! This is the kind of thing I was given - they said I could go on a three-wheeler because I'm one of the more able (younger?) clients.

When it was time for Claire to leave work, we went for a little spin (well, I did, and she had to sometimes run to keep up, mwahaha!) before taking the scooter back to Shopmobility. I must admit I was pooped by the time we got home, but it does open up new horizons for when I want to get out and about...

I think this kind of thing would be brilliant for my mum, and I called her when I got home. She said she thought it would be nice to go up the road and along the sea front, or maybe even as far as the supermarket. I think a four-wheeler would be more stable for her, but I'm sure she'd love it.  I'm not sure about this particular model though because you have to be able to use both thumbs to accelerate - right hand for forwards, left hand for reverse.  

I have very mixed emotions posting about this. On the one hand it was lovely to be able to rest whilst out and about; on the other hand it reminded me of my limitations since the SAH. I know I'm getting there, slowly but surely, but life certainly can change in the blink of an eye. I thank the Lord that I'm doing as well as I am!

Movie night

Last night Claire persuaded us to watch a film she'd bought recently, Reign over Me with Adam Sandler and Don Cheadle. Now, I know we are supposed to have watched it on cable before, but I didn't remember a THING about it apart from it being depressing. The box says it's an "uplifting" story so I agreed to watch it again.  Oh my!  I must have been in the wrong frame of mind the first time around!!  It IS sad but it is indeed uplifting. And if you thought Adam Sandler only did funny, check this scene out - he makes me and Claire cry. Strong stuff!