Today I had a very interesting chat with the psychologist at the neuro-rehab place. She had planned to start doing the assessment tests for memory, concentration etc, but first she wanted to revisit my problems with fatigue. It was so reassuring to hear that what I'm going through is text book after brain trauma - I'm not imagining it, I'm not a wimp. She says I'm too hard on myself, and puts me in the category of "high achiever, perfectionist", which allegedly makes it even harder to come to terms with the fact that I simply can't do what I used to be able to do. She reassured me that this is TEMPORARY, which is a relief! I know I've always been extremely hard on myself, and now I compare myself to others who are worse off and think "come on girl, get on with it". I must remember, though, that this is not an either/or situation: it's not because I didn't end up with outward neurological problems (hemiplegia for example) that I'm completely ok. There is a long way to go yet, and in the same way that no one was able to tell us how my mum would be or how long it would take, no one can tell how long it will take me.
So there you have it: I have to be GENTLE on myself. I must stop thinking I can do two activities in one day (i.e. yesterday, the gym AND Slimming World), because if I continue to do so I'll have more and more days where I spend the morning in bed recovering, like I did this morning. And that's only going to push back my recovery.
I think the most frustrating aspect of this is that there seems to be no warning sign, no way of telling when you've done too much. One minute you are fine and coping, and the next you are felled like a tree.
Anyway, I don't want to turn this into a whiny blog, so here's a funny picture to cheer everyone up. Claire and me, Christmas 1991. She calls it her "chipmunk face"!
Aww!
And one of my favourite adverts. Have I posted this before? Excuse me if I have. It features one of the guys who was in Band of Brothers, and it's like a war movie, with all the pilots getting ready to go off on a raid. I love it, it's so tongue in cheek!
It seems to me that you are a typical example of the family in difficult situations!! Congrats!
DO take things easy.love you xxxx
Posted by: jml | 05/26/2010 at 12:21 PM
One thing at a time, yeah!! Walking before you run.... yeah??!!
Posted by: SR | 05/26/2010 at 06:10 PM
.. oh, and love the little chipmunk ;-))))
Posted by: SR | 05/26/2010 at 06:11 PM
Jen... this is a GREAT picture. Happy Baby with her great, awesome Mom!. Thanks for sharing. Moi
Posted by: chrissie | 05/26/2010 at 09:00 PM