wagwaan?

Think positive!

I'm conscious that I've been letting the negative self-talk get to me recently. I've lost track of what my goals are and let the day-to-day difficulties get in the way. But I'm redressing the balance right NOW.  Today I was reading up on some life coaching stuff and found this post by Maia. Read, digest and put into practice. It's just what my mother would do - smile at people and wave at them when they cut her up in the car. I have always aspired to be more like her and this is a timely reminder to get back on track.
There is a lot going on in my life right now, work-related stuff and where-is-my-life-headed stuff. I know I'm on the verge of something big, and it's exciting but so up in the air. I am trying to balance between what my heart is saying and what my head is saying and I know I'll make the right decision, given time. There's a sense of déjà vu with the going round and round in circles before the decision is made: I've been here before both when I left my (now ex) husband in '93 and when I moved back to the UK with my daughter in '98.  I take comfort in the fact that I know it's all going to go right in the end; that we'll get through this and grow stronger because of the trials and tribulations. In the meantime, I must stop reading the papers and listening to the media going on and on about negative stuff, in order to focus on the happy future that I am building for myself.
There! I'm done!  
  

A must-read

I heard about this woman being on Oprah, and I really wanted to find out more because she's a neuroanatomist who suffered a stroke. It's fascinating to find out first hand, from someone with medical knowledge, what it was like to go through that. It took her 8 years to "journey back" but journey back she did, and she has a very interesting tale to tell.  I am, obviously, extremely interested in strokes due to what happened to my mum, so I shall be buying her book. It will be interesting to compare the difference in treatment between hers in the US, my mum's in France, and what happens here in the UK.  I joined the Stroke Association 2 years ago and I receive their newsletter - it's my objective to volunteer for them as soon as I can get my act together. I don't think enough is known about stroke considering how many people are affected every year. It's also one of the reasons I decided I really needed to lose weight and clean up my act....

Nostalgia

Got the urge to listen to some Supertramp.  So here you are. Enjoy!

Doing a good job

I did my bit today. I took a day off work and went to help out at the hospital where I used to work. Dr O, the second consultant in my old department, is in charge of postgrad education and had organised some exams for the final year med students. Today I was an actress: I was on the "ethics and law" station, and I had to pretend to be a diabetic who has "lack of awareness of hypos" and who insists on driving regardless. I was allowed to get angry and defensive. Well, I'm just too mild mannered to do that, but I was a adamant I wasn't going to tell the DVLA I had a problem and I threatened to stop taking my insulin to avoid having hypos!  The sad thing is, this is probably something doctors see in clinic all the time.  I did borrow a saying from my dear old dad, may he rest in peace: "I've been diabetic since before you were born, so I think I know better than you" blah blah blah.  I remember my mother telling me that one!
Anyway, it was lovely because not only did I see all the old faces, but I got to chat with Dr O between patients because she was the examiner in my room. Usually I get another Consultant from the same hospital, or a visiting doctor. We had a good old chin-wag, and it was great.
After lunch, which the hospital laid on, I rushed back to see if I had an appointment in London or not. Turns out it was cancelled so I just got to hang out at home, reading magazines and relaxing, then DD and I went out to Asda to get a bit of food shopping. Boy, I'm glad I usually shop online: how DOES one walk past rows and rows of goodies and not give in? It's only 'cos we're on a budget that I am finding it easy to stick to the healthy stuff, ha ha!
So, tonight I've thrown together a veggie soup (my staple in this season, any veg I have just goes in it and then I whizz it up all smooth and we sprinkle gruyère on it), and I'm all warm and toasty and ready for a quiet evening in. 

In the words of James Brown...

... I feel good ... da da da da da da da - da!  Well, despite it being anti-fat talk week, I can admit to being happy to shedding another 2lbs this week, to officially the lowest weight I've been so far and a total weight loss of 2 stone 10 1/2 lbs, which Google says is 17.4kgs.  My BMI has dropped about 7 points, which is amazing. I know I'm still a long way off target (nearly wrote "weigh off" LOL) but I'm happy with progress so far. There's no need to go comparing myself to our group's Slimmer of the Year who started a week before me and is now 3 and 1/2 stone down, is there? I'm taking the scenic route and not stressing if there's a party and I eat a bit of cake. As long as I keep eating healthily for most of the time then it's all good.
In other news, my cousin Michael came to stay with his wife Karen. They have been in the UK and Ireland for a few weeks, and popped in to stay with us before going over to France to stay with my youngest sister today. Unfortunately, they picked the worst day EVER to go on an open-topped double-decker bus tour of London yesterday (dreary, grey, cold, wet and windy), but I think they've enjoyed themselves regardless. I last saw Michael back in the 70s when he came over with his parents (my godparents) for a holiday. I'd have recognised him anywhere, though, which was rather surreal as he's now 42, ha ha!  They told us all about where they live, north of Cairns, Queensland.  I googled it and this is what I found:

 

Hmm... I can just see why they would want to come to dreary old London!  Their apartment is right on the beach, with just a road between them and the sand, and lots of gum trees dotted along in front of their building.  Oh well, it's just as well I enjoy living in England. If I could just enjoy a holiday in a place like this from time to time, I'd be sorted.  It was lovely to see them, and we have an open invitation to go visit. It's only 20 hours on a plane, or something. Maybe one day?
Off to bed now. Sweet dreams, everyone!

Aaah! peace and quiet!

I love this feeling. Alone in the house with no deadlines, no noise, no talking. Doing my own thing. Aaaaah!   Anyone would think I have a huge family from that statement, but no, it's just that there's ALWAYS a teenager on the computer or watching TV or listening to loud music in my house, and sometimes, just sometimes, I long to be alone. So this morning, while DD is out at her French school job, and the OH is down at his mum's house, I get the place to myself. I've just done last night's washing up (I got in very late), and I'm ignoring the rest of the mess until I've had some me-time.
I can't believe it's almost Halloween. Even though DD's all grown up she wants to do something to mark the date, especially buy this creepy stuff from Woolies... On second thoughts, I'll show her that Youtube video and maybe she'll pass: he says it tastes like the worst cherry cough medicine!  Could do this though, which I found via Stacy Julian's blog.  Might do them with chocolate cos I'm not sure we can get butterscotch or peanut butter chips to melt....

 

Whilst blog surfing, I discovered, or rediscovered, Amel Bent, a French singer who reached the semi final of the French Pop Idol (apparently). She's fantastic - and then I heard her sing a duet with a French Canadian singer called Gage, and I'm in love. His voice is so smooth.  And he's not hard on the eye either, which is a bonus, right? Tell me what you think (PS in the song he says he can't do like the other guys, even though he's tried, he's a one woman man. Swoon).

or there's this video here.  Careful though, it might make you cry...

Ooh, I nearly forgot (how could I forget?): the OH got a job!  Yay!  He was supposed to start Monday, but it's been pushed back a week. OMG I'm so happy for him. He "retired" from the corporate world about 4 years ago I think it was, and has been making a living from property development. Everyone knows of course that the economy is not good at the moment and it's been getting increasingly hard for him.  Now he's got a 3 month contract, which will then be extended if they like him. Fingers crossed!  He told me what the company was and it went straight over my head: it's some scientific campus out near Oxford and they do something with beams and something called a "synchrotron". Yep, told you it was waaaaay over my head!  His role is a crossover role with project management and engineering, which is right up his street. Plus, the most important thing they were looking for was personality and the ability to get on with the team - yep, he has shedloads of personality ;)    Anyway, now all we need is for DD to hear back from her job interview (they still haven't made up their minds apparently).
Right, I'm missing X-factor now, so I'll sign off.  I've also got to go and tidy up my bedroom because we have company tomorrow: my youngest Australian cousin is coming to stay for a couple of nights, and we don't have a spare room, so I'm giving up my comfy bed!
  

Hump day

I know, I know, weird expression - but it's the middle of the week, hence "hump day", now we're freewheeling downhill to the weekend. I was dead organised and came home to a Lancashire Hotpot that I'd prepared on Sunday warming in the slowcooker; all I had to do was serve it up and sit down to an early supper. Brill!
I was really excited today to get some post. I had actually forgotten that I ordered this back on payday. I absolutely LOVED this film when I first saw it and I've wanted to buy it ever since. I loved Holly Hunter and Richard Dreyfus together in "Always", and the chemistry is still there in this film.  A nice movie night to look forward to.
Work today was full on, but now I've got 3 days without the boss, so I can hopefully catch up with all the stuff he's left me. Why is it that whenever he leaves me with a huge list of stuff to do, when he calls to see how I'm getting on it's the ONE thing I haven't got to that he asks about specifically?  It's like he has radar or something! I work on what I think is the priority and there's always something else. After 2 years you'd think I'd have learned to ASK him what to focus on first. Doh!
By the way, how many of you use all the features on your mobile phone?  I have an old Motorola that the OH got me second hand when my even older phone died. Well, yesterday I discovered the "voice memo" function. It's just what I needed. Whenever I remember something I MUST do, I just flip it open, press the side button and record a little memo.  It's fab.  In the morning when I get to work, I just go through the memos and get down to work. Such a little thing but it makes me happy. When I upgrade to a better phone it will HAVE to have this function (smile).

Not bad :)

Good result at SW last night: lost 2lbs, so I'm back on track, only 1/2 lb over my lowest weight for about 15 years!!  I'm determined to do this, as I am cross with myself for wasting all this time since the beginning of the summer; up a bit, down a bit... it's not good enough for me, and I'm getting impatient.
Apart from that, yesterday I showed my new colleague, Ann, my photography flyer and she gasped and said how beautiful the photos were (she knows how to suck up to a new colleague, ha ha). Her son is a professional footballer (who shall remain nameless, but isn't alas in the Premiership due to recurrent injury) and she thought he could mention me to a few of his friends. His most famous friend would appear to be this delicious man, so send me some positive vibes please (although he's now in Barcelona which is not exactly next door is it?). Hopefully, some nice WAG will decide she wants me to take pictures of her family, and then all her WAG friends will be jealous and hire me too.  You gotta dream big!!!
So, apart from that, work is absolutely hellishly busy at the moment. And because of the "turmoil in the markets" all the bosses are really on edge, with mine in particular being more demanding than ever. I suppose it comes with the territory, but personally I don't think being stressed gives anyone the right to be condescending to people who are working hard to do their job. That's not how I work, anyway. Because of this, I'm really tired due to the long days but on top of that I'm having a bit of a flare up of my arthritis, which is auto-immune, and I was REALLY under par Sunday and yesterday. I'm talking so tired I can hardly keep my eyes open even after 2 good nights' sleep and no work, or walking home from the station is like climbing Everest. The OH is always worried when that happens, I don't think he's quite understood just how it can affect me. I know it's bad when I wake up in the morning and my knuckles or elbows ache - you can't say that's due to my weight or walking too much or anything when random non-weight bearing joints hurt first thing!  The specialist always says I must "pace myself", so all I can do at these times is get plenty of rest and early nights. With that, I'll just finish up here and take myself off to bed with a nice hot water bottle and some warm milk. OOh I love Autumn evenings!

DIET is a four letter word...

From the Slimming World website:

At Slimming World, DIET is a four letter word!  And if you’ve had your fill of these “off and on eating regimes”, if you’re fed up of going to bed early because you’re hungry - and if you never want to think ‘dare I eat that’ ever again - you’ve come to the right place!

• Forget calorie counting
• Forget deprivation and hunger
• Forget the strict rules and regulations of past diets
• Forget completely any previous dieting dos and don'ts - they'll only get in your way.
• Forget diet pills that interfere with your body and your mind’s natural, healthy functions.

Embrace completely the freedom, flexibility and generosity of Food Optimising!

The stroke of genius behind Food Optimising lies in its concept of Free Food – healthy, satisfying foods that can be enjoyed in any amount whenever you’re hungry – the only limit is your appetite. They’re called Free Foods because they’re unlimited – no obsessive counting or tedious weighing; no feelings of hunger and deprivation! 

And because Free Foods are ordinary, wholesome, everyday foods, the whole family can enjoy them. Take care of your family's health as well as your own; encourage them too to fill up on hunger-busting, health-giving, energy-providing Free Food - everyone will reap the benefits.

With such a delicious, healthy, liberating and, yes, slimming way of eating, is it any wonder why a quarter of a million people in the UK attend Slimming World groups every week – where they receive the support, encouragement and motivation of a fully trained Consultant and together with a supportive group of like-minded people, to help them reach their personal weight loss target!

So make it a gift to yourself – that you’ll ditch any excess 'dieting' baggage you've been carrying with you and set off on your new, exciting journey to success with Slimming World!

Join me?

Don't you just love google?

Oh my goodness, I just discovered another google application. I know, I know, I'm a bit slow, but I finally took a look at the words that run across the top of the screen when I'm in gmail or in reader, and decided I needed to use the calendar. Of course, at work I use Outlook. I mean, I'm on the darn thing all day, jigging and rejigging my boss's calendar, and using email etc, but I don't like using my work Outlook for my personal stuff. This way, I can keep the work Outlook calendar for work related reminders and appointments, and I can use google for all my personal stuff, hospital appointment etc, and reminders will still pop up on the screen.  I love that you can share calendars with people, so for example you could have just one calendar for all the family, but online instead of on your kitchen wall. No one ever actually LOOKS at the one on the kitchen wall, after all. Maybe if reminders popped up on their PC screen they'd take a bit of notice... I'm just saying.
In other news, the OH had a right go at me today: I have had the 6x4 inch cards for advertising my photography on the dresser for um a couple of weeks (or is it a month?) and haven't done anything with them. I've been so busy at work (she whines). Anyway, he said if he'd known he'd have gone out and handed every single one of them out. With that he dragged me and DD out to town to hand them to people and schmooze etc. I actually felt quite comfortable approaching people ("are these your children? They are beautiful") and handing them a card. Of course, I realise now that people are very receptive when you tell them how gorgeous their kids are!  That makes me sound so calculating, but I promise I only said what I meant!
We took the opportunity to pop into Next with DD to buy some work/interview trousers. She was very happy to get some new tops the other day from H&M in a size 14, and the size 16 trousers are a bit loose round the bum and hips - it's just the tum that makes her a 16. She's a very happy bunny because she can't remember the last time she wore a size 14.  It's wonderful. Shopping for clothes used to be such a drag, with DD ending up grumpy or in tears every time, and today was a happy, smiley occasion. Praise the Lord!
After that, we walked to the park. What beautiful weather we had - the leaves are turning orange, the sun was shining, people were out in droves. It was lovely. We went to the cafe in the park and had tea and cakes (we had missed lunch after all) and dropped off some more cards. They are very big on mother and toddler events there, so it's a good place to try.
Anyway, I'm off to bed in a minute. Tomorrow we are going to Church, which we haven't done for ages, due in part to the money situation (it's too far to walk and the bus is about 4 quid return each....). So, nite nite all. Hope you are having a gorgeous weekend.