wagwaan?

Welcome to my blog!

Thank you for visiting.  If you are a brain aneurysm survivor, or if you are just curious, the posts where I talk about my SAH are tagged "the brain thang" and it all started in February 2010.  

 

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I thought I'd come and say hi - I know some of you only get news from me like this, so I'm sorry I don't pop in more often.  Life, you know...

The great news is that I start a new job on 15th December!  I've missed being a medical secretary. For the past 2 1/2 years I've been called "office manager" and I've been doing a lot of admin work but the invoicing side has got too stressful if you ask me.  A job came up in a department where I've temped before and I was asked if I'd like to come for an interview. That's rather good for the ego, I must say. Anyway, long story short, I handed in my notice on Thursday and I work here until Friday 12th December. I hope I can leave early because I'm due to go to Norfolk to spend the weekend with friends...

Otherwise, what have you missed?  Ooh I'm a Great Aunt again. Lovely little Nathaniel was born on 13th September and I got to have cuddles and take photos a couple of weeks later.

Sadly, I could feel I was coming down with something, and I had the return journey from hell due to problems on the line; the next day I dragged myself to the GP to be told I had shingles. Luckily I was put on Aciclovir really quickly and the pain wasn't too bad. The fatigue, however, was something else. Horrendous. I was signed off for the whole month of October in the end. Looking back, it was as bad as after my subarachnoid haemorrhage, but I've now realised that your mind plays tricks on you and you forget really difficult times, so I felt like this was the worst I'd ever felt. A bit like childbirth.... or so I've been told (being too posh to push myself haha), you forget just how painful something is. Anyway, after weeks of thinking I'd never feel normal I have finally turned a corner in the past week and my energy levels are much more back to a reasonable level.

The best thing in previous weeks was my weekend away, crafting with my gal friends. Such fun and laughter. Oh and a bit of scrapbooking... We've already booked our next one :D  It's become a bit of a tradition, and it's such a great place - especially now it's been done up.

The best news of all is that we are going to have Christmas with the family!  We thought we wouldn't manage it and it would just be me and DD, but things have all fallen into place and it's going to be me and DD, my mum and one of my sisters. Yes, all the singletons in the family are getting together hahaha. I think we're also going to cross paths with my brother and his wife, so it's going to be a very festive season indeed.

Talking of the festive season, I've been working like mad on crafts to sell to raise funds for the Community Centre. I really enjoy working with my hands.

Clay decorations..

Owl keyrings...

 

Then I saw some mini meringues in Sainsbury's, and thought they'd make excellent snowmen... 

 

 

I shall be making these with little Alex when I next babysit for the afternoon. He's 4 now - I reckon it's right up his street.

I also decided to whip up some cream cheese with cocoa powder so I could stick some together like this, in a more grown up fashion....

Yum!

Well there you go, that's a bit of a catch up. I know I've said this before, but I might even manage to pop in a bit more frequently nowadays.  Watch this space....

 

 

 

 

 

Summer

Why hello there. I'm not going to try and catch up on what's been happening around here - such a lot and yet really not much! 

I'm feeling pretty good. The brain isn't doing too badly most of the time, although I still speak complete gibberish occasionally. I have had a bit of a throbbing pain over the site of my craniotomy but I'm going to assume it's all good....

This video came out yesterday so I thought I'd share. I feel a kinship to Sharon Stone as she lost everything after her aneurysm, including custody of her child. I remember after mine thinking I didn't want us (my partner and I) to become a statistic, and yet that is what happened to us too. I'm just glad I didn't have a small child to look after at the time. Huge life events like that have a habit of completely throwing you off course, but for me it just serves to remind us that life is short and we have to live for the moment.

Anyway, I'm keeping busy. I have a better work/life balance now that I'm not doing two full-time jobs at once. I'm poorer but it is SO worth it. I manage to volunteer (a little!) for the Community Centre, and I have time to learn new skills. The latest is crochet. I never thought I'd master it, but I've nearly finished a king-sized blanket and I've made many decorative Mandalas to sell on the Community Centre stall. I'm half way through a granny square blanket, and yesterday I finished a little basket...

 

The colours make me happy and it's very therapeutic.

The only other thing of note is that we managed to visit my mum, who has had a second stroke. I hate living so far away, but the silver lining in that particular cloud is that she lives by the sea so it's always a holiday when we visit.

I wish I could go every weekend!

 

 

same old same old

Why hello there. I know I don't update very often at all, do I? I've been toying with the idea of closing the blog but I do get visits from other stroke survivors, so I think I'll leave it up for now. If I can help anyone get a bit of perspective and hope after their stroke or subarachnoid haemorrhage, then that's a good thing.

Brain-wise I'm doing really well at the moment. I still kid myself that I am back to how I was before... but I know I'm not really. I still hit that wall sometimes, and crash and have to go and lie down. Luckily it doesn't happen so often, but it's so unpredictable it's really annoying! The big difference I suppose is that I've learned to listen to my body now. If I have a headache and a pain where my scar is, instead of forcing myself to go to work or whatever, I call in sick and have a duvet day. Believe me, this has been a very hard lesson to learn!  I've always just got on with it in the past, and struggled through whatever it was, but I just cannot afford to do that any more. I've even learned not to feel guilty about it! Health before wealth and all that ;)

I haven't really felt up to cooking much still, but every so often the baking bug bites and...

and

Claire's not complaining, anyway. 

Otherwise, the big thing around here is crochet. My ripple blanket is coming along a treat. It's king size. Not that it was planned that way, haha. I'm a novice so I just guessed and this is what it looks like now, complete with model...

 

I deliberately made it with random colours. I love the colourfulness of it (is that even a word?). I have tried to spread out the colours and every so often I go and buy a new ball of wool: the lime green, which I love, comes from Wilko, some of the pinky/purple colours were donated yarn, the first colours I used were from my Secret Santa, and the rest come from a local discount linen shop. It's so warm and snuggly even though I'm only half way really. Considering I started it just before I went to see my mum in February, I think it's come on a treat.  Can't wait to finish it now though.  I am also doing a blanket with granny squares, which I'll take pictures of another time.

I can't quite believe I'm actually going to finish a project with wool!  Years ago I learnt to knit but I never got into it. I found my tension was always way to tight and it was not relaxing at all. Crochet is much more fun.

One of the ladies at the community centre taught me. We hang out twice a month, pay £3 for tea and cake, and learn to knit or crochet. Most of the ladies are older than me, but there is one "young'un". All brought together for the love of yarn. Such fun. And very much "on trend", as it happens.

 

Anyway, that's how I'm doing. Hope you are all well too.... and if you've had a stroke or SAH, or someone in your family has, KEEP SMILING!  Don't stress - and if you have any questions, feel free to ask in the comments.

Catch up

Oh dearie me. I am sorry to have neglected this poor little old blog!  Life does have a habit of getting in the way, doesn't it?  It's not for any particular reason, either. It's just that I'm so tired all the time. I hate to admit that, because somehow it seems like a cop out, but it's the truth. It's very hard, according to the doctors, to work out whether it's post-stroke fatigue or the psoriatic arthritis, but it could just be the double whammy!  

On the plus side, I have started a new treatment for the arthritis - a fortnightly injection of Humira.  My psoriasis practically cleared up overnight after one injection, but the joints are taking a little longer. I do hope that 2014 is the year I'll start to get my energy back though!

Let me see... what have I been up to?  Well, not much I guess, but I do have a load of photos in my photo library so let's see:

Oh yes, first of all I decided I was going to take my birthday week off in February, and go and see my mum in France

I did have a lovely time!  It was great seeing my mum and I'm glad I did, for just a couple of weeks later she had another stroke. How worried we all were!  She's home again now, with extra home help, and I think she's doing quite well, considering.  I'm planning another trip to see her just as soon as I can.

Then I really got stuck into my abandoned Project Life.  I love this way of scrapbooking and I did a few months all at once. I don't do a page a week or anything, I just do layouts as and when I have photos or an occasion I want to write about.  This is just one of the pages I caught up with.

Also, love love love this photo, straight out of the iPhone camera, nothing special but boy look at those colours!

Sadly, today looks nothing like that. It's grey and raining, but I'm just going to stay indoors so it doesn't matter.  I think I shall catch up with my crochet. Yes crochet! Me!  I never got on with knitting when I was younger, but I joined a beginners' knitting/crochet group at the Community Centre, and in two ticks I learned the basics.  I'm so hooked (pun intended)!  And it was all Lucy from Attic 24's fault really. Before her, I never really liked crochet....

My first ever granny square

Above it you can see the beginning of my ripple blanket, made with the wool I got from my Secret Santa... Now it's looking like this

I took some other pictures of it, but with the big camera, which I've not uploaded yet. Another time.

Lyle tries to help...

But really he just wants to play...

(I love the scrap of wool on his whiskers, silly boy)

So there you have a bit of an update. I really will try and update more often! I have a project to do with stroke survivors, so I'll talk about that soon too.

Have a great day :)

Busy bee

I hadn't planned on blogging quite so late in the day, but I got a bit sidetracked. 

Today was "goodbye to William" day. Time flies when you're having fun. I had fun. I think William had fun. Lyle? Not so much.  After the hamster had been collected and gone on his way, you could feeeeeel the relief in the room.

What a peaceful picture :)

The rest of the afternoon was spent listening to the howling wind and rain, then making the most of what we thought was a break in the weather to go pick up some puff pastry (it didn't last long). On the way home we stopped off for hot chocolate at The LP Cafe where we listened to some Stevie before braving the elements to get home.... where I rustled up this little beauty:

See? That's why we needed the puff pastry. For the Galette des Rois. I know Epiphany was yesterday, but that's because La Poste and Royal Mail let us down and we only received this in this morning's mail:

(thank you sis!)

We have a spare... maybe we'll have it on Saturday after our girlie outing with some crafty friends - they know who they are.

Yesterday I was up in London for some tests at Guy's. I had lunch with a friend, and after that I had coffee with another friend. I know! I'm so popular, right?!  We ended up driving back to Watford although we did stop at the  bowling alley on the way for reasons that a lady shouldn't divulge. Oh ok, so I was desperate for the loo, there, I said it.   While there (at the arcade, not the loo. Keep up!) I just couldn't resist a crack at Time Crisis, where I shot a few baddies. I'm a bit out of practice but it was a fun interlude. I'm thinking we should organise another outing so I can practice a bit more.

Anyway, that was the start of my week. Hope you are all having a peaceful week where you are. Until next time; I'll leave you with a bit of music. Check out his other videos too.

Sunday night

It's pretty much woe is us here - between a migraine/sickness (Claire) and lumbago (me) we are a sorry sight!

But what a lovely Christmas we had. Very quiet, just the two of us... and the cat, the goldfish and of course our little Christmas visitor, William the hamster.

He's very cute - but one of us is less than impressed:

Poor boy!  He's alright really, getting lots of cuddles and Dreamies, but I think he's not too sure what's going on, and will be very relieved when William's young owners come home from their travels. 

On Christmas Day Claire came up to the bedroom with the bags my wonderful brother and his wife put together for our stockings. We had decided to stretch things out a bit and to open these separately, before breakfast, and planned to open the rest of our presents later.  It was lovely, and so unexpected, so thank you NJ and J :)

First things first, we opened up the champagne, courtesy of one of my bosses, and added OJ for the most delicious Bucks Fizz

Then I made French Toast with icing sugar for Claire and maple syrup for me, to make up for the fact that we didn't buy a Pandoro this year...

 

After breakfast of course it was time to open our presents, and I must say my daughter is the most thoughtful and wonderful person in the whole wide world! One of her gifts to me was a magazine subscription. I love that I'll get to open a present every month for the whole year.

 

I was also excited to receive some yarn and a crochet hook from my Secret Santa (one of my scrapbooking buddies). I'm trying, but I'm a loooong way from this! I shall be joining the beginners' class at the Community Centre and hope to make my first crochet blanket in 2014. 

In the afternoon, we had planned on going for a Christmas post-prandial walk, but in the end I just felt so tired after all the hustle and bustle of the run-up. I am getting better at pacing myself and recognising when I just have to rest and listen to my body.  Although I always love our huge family gatherings, I don't cope as well with the noise etc now, and it was quite pleasant to just sit quietly, reading or watching a little bit of Christmas TV. Claire and I both got books so we were happy to switch off and read in companionable silence!

There's so much I didn't do this year, that I had planned, and where once this would have frustrated me, it's no big deal. We'll get a Pandoro another time and I'll buy marzipan and stuff the dates in the New Year instead, for example.

Oh I nearly forgot, I can't remember if I mentioned Do Something Different before, but I signed up to it in December and have been getting daily prompts. Anyway, I got the No Diet Diet by the same authors from the library and today is day one, which was "switch off the tv". So that's what I've done. I'm not watching it at all today, and I've got plenty of other things to do instead. Although the prompts that have been coming in have often been to do things I already do naturally, it is great to have a little jab in the ribs occasionally to do something you're putting off.

So, off I go. I need to check in on Claire and then I've got that craft corner to clear up in the bedroom... Ciao!

Christmas Eve

"T'was the night before Christmas..." - you all know the rest!  I'm just listening to Christmas music (Mariah Carey if you're interested) while I get the wrapping done. I had completely forgotten I hadn't done any of it, until earlier today. Silly me. 

Yesterday was so blustery and stormy and I got so completely soaking wet on the way back from the Christmas Community Coffee Morning (40 minutes waiting for a bus, no bus shelter, so much wind and R A I N) I had hoped I didn't need to go out today. Unfortunately, I realised this morning the poor cat was running low on both cat litter and food, so I dragged myself out again. Luckily, it was beautifully bright and sunny, although still cold, so it was much less of a chore.  I think I've got everything now. Well, if I haven't, it's too bad!

Earlier this evening we listened to the traditional Carols from Kings, I put my feet up under the blanket, and the house looked like this:

Every year we make snowflakes out of white paper - different sizes, every one different of course. I love sticking them to the window with Spray Mount (removable). 

Now I'm just waiting for Midnight Mass on TV. I don't have the energy to go to our church, but I think this will be a good alternative.

Well, from our home to yours, Merry Christmas!

Saturday

Here I am again.

Work is very busy, especially as my lovely jobshare left to be an accountant and I'm now stuck with doing what is more than a full-time job for one person in 2.5 days a week. They did ask if I wanted to go full-time, but I just can't do that any more. I still get so overwhelmed sometimes and my brain really does turn to mush. A double whammy of post-stroke fatigue and psoriatic arthritis sometimes sends me over the edge... 

Nevertheless, on the whole I'm feeling pretty good these days. I have been particularly tired and in pain since June, but since doing a five-week CBT course that was recommended by my GP I've been feeling much happier, even though the pain is still pretty much constant. That reminds me, I have just been told this week by the rheumatology team at Guy's Hospital that I will need to start fortnightly Humira injections in the New Year. I'm hoping that the pain will soon be but a distant memory :)

Today we had a lovely time: first we met up with our friends and their 3-year old son in our favourite indie cafe.

Gifts and cards were exchanged and Alex particularly liked his mini football. We also gave him a game of Snap from Tiger and proceeded to (try and) teach him how to play... which was fun. He didn't quite grasp the concept but he did like matching the pictures. 

While we were there, another friend came in and sat down with her husband, then a bit later yet more friends turned up for coffee, so we asked them to share our table. It's obviously THE place to see and be seen in our local town, especially on a shopping day! 

If you read the post below, you'll see I was in London when they were filming at Liberty's. Well we've been watching the show avidly, and I'm relieved to say I haven't caught sight of myself lurking in the Christmas shop yet, hahaha. I say that, because I felt particularly yukky that day, what with my nasty cold etc, so I dread to think what I looked like!

By the way, if you're here because you followed a link from a Stroke forum or website, I hope anything you read here will help you a little bit in your recovery.  The Brain and Spine Foundation featured a few little soundbites from me a couple of years ago on the subject of Christmas shopping. Here's the link.  

On the subject of Stroke/SAH, I have a little project that I'm starting in the New Year, so if you are a survivor and would like to know more, please leave me a comment below, so that I can email you back with details.

On that note, it's 10pm so I'm off to my bed.  More Christmassy fun tomorrow! 

 

1st Sunday of Advent

I can't quite believe it's nearly Christmas. I'm sure I'm not the only blogger going "where HAS the time gone?" but I didn't promise you originality now, did I? 

Life has so many twists and turns. I was feeling pretty rough back in June when I saw the rheumatologist and it was quite a tough few months after that. Luckily, I have been much better lately. I've been working on "Number One" as they say, and what with Tai Chi and other things I'm doing, I'm feeling more like me again. I have to say, I am truly blessed with the people and love I'm surrounded by. We've been back in the UK 15 years, and all of that time in the same area, even though we've moved a couple of times. When I walk around the hospital where I work, or around town, it's lovely to bump into people I know and have a quick chat. This is the longest stretch of time I've ever stayed in one place. Amazing, I know!

The photoshoots are going well, lots of lovely babies to ooh and ah over (and then hand back to their parents). Saving up for a new camera too, although at the moment I can only dream of a 5D... I can't quite believe it's a year since I took the newborn pictures of this little guy

I took the first birthday party pictures of him last week - he's still as gorgeous, with huuuuge blue eyes and nearly-there blond hair. As far as I can tell, he's always smiling too. 

So Christmas is in the air. I do like whipping out my iPhone and snapping away when I'm out and about, and although I don't spend much, I enjoy window shopping, checking out the ornaments and twinkle lights, which make everything so pretty:

(John Lewis)

(Liberty of London)

Talking of Liberty's, when I was there they were apparently filming. The show starts tomorrow, so keep a look out, you never know... you might see a middle-aged lady in a green coat looking hot and bothered. Yes, that would be me. Haha we shall see!

As for our cosy little home sweet home, Claire was really keen to get the decorations up early, and I admit I was feeling the urge too - so we got out the boxes of decorations and set the tree up. I decided to make a table display of some of the Santas we seem to have acquired, and took a quick snap

 

You can't see them all, but there are all sorts, including two different Pez dispensers, arranged around the middle Santa who was purchased recently from a Next discount shop, and whose reeds soak up and release the Christmassy perfume from the bottle below.  Last night, as I turned round at the bottom of the stairs, I realised I'd left the lights on...

It just looked so pretty and twinkly - I do love our home ;)

Bank Holiday Weekend WHAT?

I know, I know, I'm hardly ever here any more. Why do I bother? lol  

Well we had a lovely holiday at my mum's and I wish I could have stayed and stayed. It was lovely to see her although she's definitely showing more signs of age and slowing down more. Considering how amazingly she recovered from her severe stroke, it's sad.  She bought the house 30 years ago so it's the place everyone in the family considers "home". The kids have all grown up going there on holiday and for weekends and it's brilliant that it has actually changed so little there. Towns either side along the coast are more built-up and touristy. My mum's house is on a private road, and there is no lifeguard on this section of beach, so it doesn't get that busy, ever. Even in August!  

Most nights we go out and check out the sunset. I didn't have my phone with me this night, but I drew a heart in the sand and got Claire to snap it with her phone. I love the light ;) 

 

I'm not even going to THINK about what that horizon is going to look like when they've built their damn windfarm out to sea in that direction. 

We were lucky enough to have a hire car this year, cute little thing.

We had such amazing weather all the time, apart from the odd shower of rain. Bliss.

The coastline here was called Juno Beach during the D-Day landings. This is remembered everywhere - such as in the name of this road:

 

The troops that landed on Juno Beach were Canadian and British. They have remembrance services every year and on the 60th anniversary they inaugurated this little monument in memory of the soldiers who gave their lives on 6.6.44. ("The memorial is in the shape of a Inukshuk, a staple of stones in the shape of a person pointing in the right direction. These Inukshuk were used in Canada as route-indicators.")

(I have to say, I'm not sure why that flag in the background is at half-mast! I didn't notice it until after I took the picture....)

On the last day of our holiday my sister came up from Toulouse a day early so that we could spend some time together, and so Claire could see her cousins.  The girls wanted to go shopping (they share a birthday and had some spending money to use up), so my brother-in-law drove us into Caen, and then he and I went to see William the Conqueror's castle and the Abbaye aux Dames. It's amazing to think these buildings have been there for nearly a thousand years. Even with the devastation that hit Caen during the liberation of France, there has been some great renovation work so there is a lot to see.  

Well, you get the picture. There are more photos on my flickr photostream.

Since we've been back, it's been Claire's birthday and that kind of end-of-the-summer feeling. It's been brilliant to have such a long, hot, sunny summer, but today it's pouring and feeling a lot cooler, which is kind of a relief!

We're off out shortly, if we can face the wet, and tomorrow we're looking forward to having my niece down from Manchester with her husband and my adorable great-nephew. Plans are brunch followed by (I expect) a trip to Cassiobury Park so little one can let off steam. Weather should be fine again, so fingers crossed.