wagwaan?

I had this whole big post typed up and then one swipe of the mouse by mistake on the iMac and I left the page, which means I lost the whole darn thing.  Ugh. I hate when that happens. So it kind of put me off posting for a while and all of a sudden 3 weeks have gone by or something. 

Anyway, I thought I'd touch base and let you know I'm still around. Caire and I have been eating healthily and walking everywhere, and we've decided to go cold turkey without chocolate because we are such chocoholics. So far we are 12 days chocolate free and counting!  When I feel my blood sugars are a bit more stable, I might break out the odd square of 70% chocolate if I get a craving, but the weird thing is, I haven't HAD any cravings really. Well, maybe the first day or two, but I just drank water and kept busy and forgot all about it. I nearly had some on Friday at work - there was a leaving do and although I'd picked really healthy stuff during lunch, there was a box of Ferrero Rochers left in the staff room. When I went in to make a cup of tea I picked one up without thinking... and then dropped it like a hot coal when I remembered lol.  I also find that drinking green tea really works as an appetite suppressant. I found that before I read about it, so it's not all in my head. So far I've lost about half a stone, which is good because Christmas and Easter were not very healthy for me. Oops. 

Here are a few of the photos I was going to post before...

Out walking I stopped at the library. 

Sat in the sun and people-watched. 

Treated myself to flowers - and deliberately left white space on the photo so I can type on it for my Project Life album.

More flowers - this time in front of our building. 

Ordered new computer glasses (they're kind of pinky-purple on the back).

Today was my mum's 81st birthday. I wish I could have been there, but two of my sisters were and they posted lots of photos in a private album on Facebook, which was nice.  After calling to wish her a happy birthday, this is what my Sunday looked like:

 

I got that book from the library and it's really helpful. GI is recommended in PCOS and Diabetes, and the Consultant I work for says it's the best. GL (Glycaemic Load) just makes more sense of it. It's written by a dietitian and is very easy to understand.  I still use Myfitnesspal.com to actually keep track of my eating and exercise, but I'm beginning to use the GL concept.  The Primark bags contain things like sheets and dishtowels, and the drink is a Starbucks Berry Hibiscus Refresha. Delicious! Claire went for the Lime Refresha that you can kind of see behind it. 

Oh, and I went on a lovely date Friday - I might remember to tell you about it next time.

Off to bed now. Nite!

:Sunday:

Phew what a week!  I know, I know, I always say I know how to pace myself now - but apparently I do not. Something every day of the week = a very tired brain. By Friday afternoon I was having trouble with my words, which doesn't happen that often now, thank goodness. I did a real push to get most of the database updates out of the way so my jobshare colleague doesn't come in to a pile of them on Monday. Thing is, though, I was already pushing my luck.

I stopped for a cuppa on the way home with my colleague and I don't think I was talking much sense, to be honest. I must have looked exhausted because she was concerned for me. I know that look! My friends get a concerned look on their face that tells me I need to go and rest immediately. I actually took a cab home, which is a real sign I'd overdone it. But never fear, the weekend is for relaxing, right?

Anyway, yesterday Claire and I decided we needed some craft supplies, so we had lunch in town and went shopping for goodies. When we got home Claire set to with the hot glue gun and I did some Photoshop creating. We didn't see the time fly by and it was 10pm before we knew it.  I was working on my Project Life and thought I'd do a few filler cards. Here are a couple that I made for the 4 x 3 inch pockets. Feel free to download... They're  not going to win any awards for design, but I enjoyed making them :)

I'll be making more today no doubt, and then I'm off for my Sunday walk in the park with one of my choir buddies. I must remember to switch on the app when I leave the house. Talking of choir, I really must practice my pieces more AND learn the words. Gospel choirs don't stand their with their sheet music do they?! And we'll be recording soon, so I must get it right! 

Have a restful Sunday.

 

 

Brrr

Ok, so there are probably posts all over the internet about the cold, the snow, how pretty, how treacherous, bla bla bla.  So, much as it pains me to follow the trend..... here's mine.

Well, we have been expecting snow and an "arctic blast" for a while. Or maybe that's a "Siberian blast", I can't remember. They actually got it right for once, because we woke up to snow this morning (although these pictures are from this afternoon, with a slightly pink sky).

And look! Narnia in my front garden!

First I had some work to do, some calls to make; then I had to get ready for my new Tai Chi class! Yes, project New Jen for 2013 is steadily under way. I have been meaning to do Tai Chi for a while now, as they offer classes at the hospital.  In the same way they offer Pilates, but I was kind of put off after having a burst aneurysm after a Pilates class (I know, I know, it's probably not related but it is forever linked in my mind to The Brain Thang [copyright Catherine]). But I digress. So, Tai Chi, yes and it's thanks to my friends at the WWCA because everyone knows it's more fun to join when you know the other people there...

Today was our first class and the instructor, who is kind of an aging hippy, but in the best sense of the word, is pretty amazing. He explained all about the whole ethos behind this ancient art, as well as the benefits. It's rather strange how you could feel the energy in the room change as the hour went on. I'm really looking forward to the rest of the course, although, wouldn't you know it, I can't attend the next two sessions due to a prior commitment to be a patient at PASS Paces.

We all hung out after class, drinking tea and chatting, and then it was more than time to go and get some lunch. By this time the snow was coming down thick and fast, so instead of popping over the road to the canteen I thought I'd grab the next bus and make my way home. Well, home via my favourite pitstop where I had pea & ham soup for lunch.

I'd better get off here and go and do that Project Life album I was talking about, so cheers! and stay warm wherever you are. 

:Sunday:

I don't want to jinx it but I'm still on track. I went out for a walk as promised today. It was rather bracing! Shame it was so grey. Anyway, I didn't do a marathon walk or anything, but I thought I'd just try out the app and do a walk that wouldn't leave me completely exhausted by the end of it. This is what I did:

It's a really great little app, although so far I haven't been able to change the title from "dog walk" to something else... There is a setting that means that you get updates as you are going along, telling you how fast you are walking, how far you've walked etc. It's pretty cool.  You might be thinking 2.16 kms is nothing to write home about, but for me it's huge: nearly 3 years ago I could not stand more than about 3 minutes, and it has taken a long time to get my energy levels anywhere near normal. So onwards and upwards, I say!

After I got home I spent some time on the computer, printing out photos so I can get up to date with Project Life. First I had to spend quite some time sorting out the software for my Canon printer: although I could print to it no problem, not having the Easyprint software meant I couldn't easily print two pictures side by side which is perfect for the small 3x4 slots in PL. I also discovered that I've been saving everything to iPhoto but not to my Pictures, so when I went into the software I couldn't work out how to select what I wanted to print. Frustrating! Anyway, I sussed it eventually and now I have to rethink how I file all my pictures on the iMac. Hmm time to participate in one of those freebie courses at the Mac Store methinks. 

That's enough for one day. Must get some sleep as I start Tai Chi tomorrow lunchtime. New year, new me :)

Epiphany

No I haven't had an ephiphany - today is the Feast of Epiphany. So I have made a galette des rois and it smells delicious and all is right with the world. Claire brought me a pack of puff pastry back from the shops, but it wasn't till she handed it to me that I realised I hadn't told her how much was needed. While she went off ostensibly to tidy her room, I pulled on my coat and went back out into the cold. It's a 15 minute walk to Sainsbury's - downhill on the way there, uphill on the way back. That's a nice little walk for someone who has decided to get out and W.A.L.K. every day regardless of the weather. It's a good job, too, because I've had a look at the calories contained just in the "lighter" puff pastry and daren't think about the calories in the frangipane! Oh well, it's once a year, right?

I didn't take a picture of the big Galette but there were some off-cuts of pastry left after making it, as well as a bit of filling, so I made some odd shaped parcels to use it all up.

Of course, I had to taste one, for quality control purposes you understand. Mmmm!  Do you see that little red pot there? It says "Joyeuses Fêtes" on it and is a French yoghurt pot that I got when we met up with Alex and his parents before Christmas. So sweet!

We've I've also taken down the decorations and they've been packed in their boxes and taken down to the garage which I am so happy to have because I can leave stuff down there until it's needed. One day I will have a car and then I'll have to find another solution for the flotsam and jetsam, but until then, it's a godsend. 

 

We have three boxes like this. I think that's quite restrained for two people who luuurve Christmas, don't you? So that's it, all packed up and put away for another year. 

The hoovering has been done, so has the washing. Now all I need to do is decide which box-set I'm going to break into first: 

       or 

Decisions, decisions...

Where she opens her heart...

As I sit here, pondering the past year and what lies in store in 2013, I have to say I love where I am right now. My relationship broke down in 2011 although I only moved out in early 2012, and so much has happened since this time last year. Although of course I'm not happy our relationship had to end I am such a believer of the old adage "things happen for a reason" that I can't find it in me to remain upset. Of course I was devastated when it happened, but since then I've pulled myself up straight and decided to look to the future. Such a dazzling one it is too.

A funny thing has happened along the way. I have discovered the meaning of true love. As a mother, I immediately discovered what unconditional love was when I had my daughter, but this is different. The man I spent 13 years of my life with remains a very special part of me. He will always have a little piece of my heart. They say "if you love someone, set them free" and oh my, is that true! I knew without a doubt, from day one of our relationship, that I would never stand in the way of him fulfilling any of his dreams or ambitions. I naturally hoped that we would walk side by side into the future, but I knew that I didn't OWN him and that one day this might happen. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't consciously thinking "he will leave me some day" - I just feel we are all individuals with our own paths to follow in life, and as I love him dearly I want him to be happy. I know a little bit about what is coming up in his future and I am excited for him.

Why am I opening up about this now? Well, a New Year seems as good a time as any to share this with you: please believe me when I say life is too short to be bitter or hold grudges. I do not have any room in my heart for hate and I refuse to live my life thinking what if? or why me?  I know I won't always be smiling and happy about everything that happens in my life, but I CAN decide how I'm going to deal with the aftermath.  

Maybe, just maybe, my words will resonate with someone and if that happens and just one person feels uplifted, then the pain I have experienced will not be in vain.

Love one another! 

Out with the old

Happy New Year everyone.  It's a good day to be changing the blog around a bit. I didn't have a picture I particularly wanted to use as a header, so I just grabbed a photo out of the window this morning and changed a few colours around on the fonts and voilà. 

I don't usually "do" resolutions but I do like to look on this as a new start. Plenty of dreams and goals sloshing around in my brain, but I won't write them down just yet....

I'm off out to get a spot of fresh air. Hope you have a joyous, peaceful, healthy and happy 2013.

 

Decisions, decisions...

Well it's been such a long time since I came to this here ol' blog, I bet there's no one left out there wondering if I'll ever revive it!   2012 has been a funny old year, and on top of that the computer is so. painfully. slow. I end up never turning it on.  Luckily, there is a brand new iMac on the way, so I expect you'll see a lot more of me. Or not. I might just decide to jack it all in.... (hence the title)

I feel like it's finally time to get ready for Christmas. My brain is actually getting into gear and I'm at last thinking of presents and in such a hurry to go to France to holiday with my family for the first time in 4 years. When Claire was working in retail she only had Christmas Day off and we just couldn't get away. This year we have already booked our ferry tickets to Caen and we will be spending the week. I'm so excited!  

Meanwhile, I have been working part-time since March and although at first it was very VERY hard (I've since discovered my co-workers were a bit worried about my health not being up to it), I'm loving it. There is a great team, a great atmosphere, and although the job itself is nothing terribly complicated it is varied enough to keep me interested.  I have come on in leaps and bounds since I started, I really have. It's been such good therapy, my brain is much more active and I finally feel "back to normal".  So many people have commented on it, it MUST be true!  February 2013 it will be 3 years since the aneurysm burst and my life changed completely.

So, that's it my friends. I've got a lot planned and I'm trying to squeeze so much more out of life.  Next Thursday I'm hoping to get to see my friend Noel at this...

It's in bloomin' Brixton, but I hope to find a way....

Right then, off I go to bed to listen to the rain drumming on the roof and to dream sweet dreams :)

 

 

Do something that scares you...

Have you heard that one before? Do one thing each day that scares you?  Personally I am not a huge thrill-seeker. I get enough of an adrenaline rush just living my everyday life, thank you very much!  But I do think we shouldn't stick to what we know because of fear. Where is this leading? I hear you ask. Well, I have long wanted to do something. Something just for me, but something that is very social, and for some reason I've been a bit afraid to do it.

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago Claire and I were wandering through the local shopping centre when we came upon a group of young people dancing to some 40s music. I couldn't help myself. I went and signed up to their mailing list to get a free class and I really, really want to go, even if I go along on my own. 

I think it was on the list of things I wanted to do before I turned 50 but never got around to, so this is the year. I am going to do stuff I've never done before and I'm going to start the way I mean to carry on. Join me, anyone?

Eff You Enn

I have been reading the latest Psychologies mag and I'm so impressed with this issue. I read one a long time ago but wasn't blown away by it, but this one has a 16 page dossier about how to inject more fun into your life. A journalist was given the task of doing something fun every day for a week. At first she wanted to refuse the assignment but then she asked herself "when did I get too busy to have fun?", so she accepted. At first she felt quite self-conscious doing silly things but as the week progressed she realised that it was vital to make time for fun. Obviously, she says, a week doing nothing but having fun would become boring because when it's forced the enjoyment goes. However, each time she allowed herself to have fun, she felt engaged and energised.

This whole dossier really spoke to me. The more I journey through YOU University and discover my authentic self, the more I realise how life can just "get in the way" if we let it, and we don't even realise we are doing it. My authentic self is fun and carefree but serious when I need to be. I have become bogged down in worry and self-doubt and this has led to a serious sense-of-humour failure recently! Obviously, when you have to look at how you are going to pay the bills and keep a roof over your head, you are not going to do it while acting the clown, but I do think you need to maintain a balance between being serious 24h a day and having a laugh to relieve the tension. More than most, I realise how short life is and how close I came to not being here to enjoy it, so from this moment I am not only going to keep reminding myself to seize the day, I am actually going to do it. 

I'm going to have more F.U.N. in 2012! Join me?